Interesting Writing
Hello, bloggers of the world today in Music we got to make a piece of boring writing into the most amazing paragraph. Here is my writing and some other peoples.
Risha
1. The music was loud.
2. The music was wild!
3. The music was wild as I walked past the bar after school.
4. The music was wild as I walked past the bar after school.
5. The music was wild as I walked past the bar after school. Seeing them singing the same song.
6. The music was wild as I walked past the bar after school. Seeing them singing the same song for someone's birthday! I was happy for them!
Neveah
The music was loud.
last night the music was loud.
Last night the pop music was loud.
last night the pop music was loud in the garage.
last night the pop music was echoing loud in the garage.
Elisha Mae
1. He was singing peacefully. - Adjective
2. Last night he was singing peacefully. - When
3. Last night he was singing under the stars. - Where
4. The other day he had heard his father singing the same song. - When
5. Last night he was singing under the stars while gazing at the moon because the moon reminded him of his mother. -Why
last night the music was loud.
Last night the pop music was loud.
last night the pop music was loud in the garage.
last night the pop music was echoing loud in the garage.
Elisha Mae
Adding adjectives:
The music was extremely loud.
Adding when it happened:
In the afternoon the music was extremely loud.
Adding where it happened:
In the afternoon at the Music room, the music was extremely loud.
Adding how it happened:
In the afternoon at the Music room, the Music was extremely loud done by the annoying students.
Adding why it happened:
In the afternoon at the Music room, the Music was extremely loud done by the annoying students because they have nothing to do and decided to play with the instruments.
Shreya
1. He was singing peacefully. - Adjective
2. Last night he was singing peacefully. - When
3. Last night he was singing under the stars. - Where
4. The other day he had heard his father singing the same song. - When
5. Last night he was singing under the stars while gazing at the moon because the moon reminded him of his mother. -Why
Hi, My name is Abby and I am a year 7 student at Yaldhurst Model School.
ReplyDeleteI really like the way you chose a good title it made me want to read the blog and find out how you can make your writing more interesting.
This reminds me of when my class has to write our long writes then get a comment from our writing buddy, then we can have a improvement session to make our writing better.
Next time you could make the post as interesting as the title by decorating it or making each part a bit different so the different writers work can stand out in different ways.
What way do you think is the easiest to make your writing better?
Kind Regards,
Abby.
Hi my name is Maddison, I am a year 7 student at Yaldhurst Model School.
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you explained how you made this and the steps you took, I think that it is super cool how you have shared it and I hope you keep writing like this. This post did teach me how to write in the style, I liked how you based it about music, I think that it is a cool topic to work on what made you think about that?
This Is like what me and my class do at writing, we all have buddys and start to improve their work and we usually ask them to add in things like you have shared in this blog post.
I think that to improve this you could share it in a more creative way with a different type of learning tool instead of a basic google doc, I think that you should keep all of the writing you have shared because it was all very good and easy to understand.
How long did it take?
Thanks! Maddie from YMS.